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I end a sentence with "just sayin" because ending it with "dumbass" would be offensive.
I`m proud of anyone who has quit doing drugs and alcohol, I don`t want to hang out with you now but I`m still proud...
The sexiest fantasy in 50 Shades Of Grey is the bit where she gets a job in journalism without having to do years of unpaid work experience.
Your license plate should be your phone number... So when you drive like a dumbass, I can let you know about it.
Everyone wants you to "be honest" until you tell them how much they suck.
Have you ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you´ve had?
People in glass houses shouldn`t masturbate during the day....
i hope your life is as long and useful as this roll of toilet paper!!!
Finally, my winter fat is gone, now all I have are spring rolls.
I’m not shy, I’m just really good out figuring out who is not worth talking to.
You know that awkward moment when you thought someone`s talking to you so you reply to them , then they look at you weird .
I`m going to start tackling random guys in football jerseys saying "look how he`s dressed. He was asking for it!"
"Love your friends, Not their sisters." & "Love your sisters, Not their friends." -By Mummy...
Some of you are like family to me. I don’t want you calling me either.
"Don`t let a hot date turn into a due date."--my father`s actual sex talk with me when I was 13.