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You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.
If your man is reluctant to talk about his feelings, it’s probably because you haven’t told him what they are yet.
I love therapy sessions because I get to cry for an hour. It usually freaks out my patient, though.
I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
Do the spectators at golf tournaments know they don`t have to be there
If a girl bangs ten dudes in a year she is a slut. If a guy done he`s gay. Definitely gay.
I`m convinced some people got married just so they could gripe about being married...
If there`s no god then how do you explain yoga pants?
Water is life; without it we wouldn’t have coffee, whiskey or beer.
If you get a new job before you quit your old one, it`s considered responsible. But if you do that with your gf, it`s called "cheating."
I slept and woke up. (ok, lately this has become a major accomplishment in my life)
Her: I love it when we finish each other`s Him: pancakes
Clearly skinny jeans are easier to obtain than skinny genes
It’s the most wonderful time of the year… to be slowly driven insane by Christmas music.
How easily you`re offended is directly proportional to how dumb you are.