Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My roommate is on a date and said he`s convinced she`s coming home with him tonight. I`ve covered his room in Justin Bieber posters. Now we wait.
People with multiple personalities should donate one of them to people who don’t have one.
People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
My brain is about as well organized as the Walmart $5 dvd bin.
I’m right 97% of the time…who cares about the other 4%.
I won the Twister contest hands-down.
Is it ok to take a personal day if none of your pants fit?
The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it, now I live in constant fear.
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
An empty fridge is a sad fridge.
You`re always ahead of schedule when it comes to disappointing me.
The problem with some people is that they’re alive.
Be nice to a nerd. Prevent a supervillain.