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It’s silly how we spend money on clothes when naked is free.
If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
Detective: “The victim musta had company. There’s 2 dirty plates in the sink.” If I ever get murdered they’ll think I had 16 people over.
Legally,It´s questionable. Morally,It´s disgusting. Personally,I like it.
When girls wear yoga pants I feel like a ghost from Mario. Uncontrollably attracted when they turn away, but frozen when they look at me.
There´s a thin line between "I should do a status update about that" and "I should talk to a therapist about that"
People assume I’m smart when they see my glasses case. Then they see that I use it to store a Snickers bar and they recognize my true genius.
In paintball, you should be allowed to use a paintbrush as a knife.
Legally, it`s questionable .. Morally, it`s disgusting .. Personally, I love it. ;)
That awkward moment when Adele finds someone like me
I heard she was born naked!! That slut!
In a new study women with large a$$es live longer………the men who tell them live distinctively shorter lives.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
So I met an Egyptian ... they walk just like us.
I didn’t get the job… heading home.. Good Bye Rome.. until we meet again.