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To be truthful,,, I have never unrolled a sleeping bag and been able to roll it back up any smaller than the size of a garage.
umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
"Let`s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise" - sports fans
Playing dead on the couch all day in case a bear attacks. That`s not lazy, that`s proactive.
When I`m in an elevator with a stranger I generally hold their hand to let them know that they`re safe
Shout out to people who are hard of hearing.
As funny as it might be, It`s never polite to yell "Tuba Lesson!" Before farting.
For the record, giving someone the creeps for Christmas is technically not a gift.
Call me old school, but cigarettes should not have USB ports
Don`t refer to them as voices in your head. Do as the professionals and call them your `team of writers`
I`ll always be here for you ... Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there. Then I`ll be over there for you.
They`re teaching kids that abstinence is 100% more effective in preventing pregnancy than birth control, try telling that one to Jesus`s mother!
Reverse cowgirl. Perfect for when you`re horny, but can`t stand to look at each other !
PARENTS: your teen may be worshipping Satan. Look for these terms: LOL - Lucifer Our Lord, BRB - Burn Religious Books, TBH - Tell Beelzebub Hi
I can`t figure out why everyone calls me a smart-ass. Is it because I`m smart and have a great ass?