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Lil Wayne is 10% African-American and 90% tattoo.
"No I don’t need any help. I know more about booze than you do" - Me to the liquor store clerk
I wonder how seaworld would react if I walked in there with a fishing pole....
As often as I lose lighters and sunglasses, it`s a good thing I never had kids. Or did I?
Roman Numerals...what are they good IV?
You know it`s way past your bed time when the 1-800-dial-a-hoe commercials come on.
Get real. No one’s going to form a single line if the building’s on FIRE.
If you`re sick and tired of every Asshole on Facebook asking you to copy and paste stuff as your status, please copy and paste this as your status.
Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.
This might be my ego talking, but I feel my weight-loss spambot followers care about me. They really, really, do.
I’m not shy, I’m just really good out figuring out who is not worth talking to.
Don`t worry if you had a bad day, remember there are people who have their ex`s name tattooed.
Adding “and sh!t” at the end of a sentence can make anything sound thug. Example: “I was playing with my bubbles and sh!t.”
I was born at a very early age.
Sometimes I watch sports holding an xbox controller just to screw with my girlfriend`s head.