Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To whom it may concern: I need more money and power ... ASAP thanks!
Netflix should double as a dating site and be like "here are 9 other singles in your area that watched LOST for the past 11 hours."
why does a round pizza comes in a square box?
Just moisturized my hands and now I can`t get out of the bathroom. Send help.
Not to brag, but I don’t need to smoke pot to get the munchies.
Before Google, I averaged 220 Snapple bottles before I found the answer.
Me: *kisses her on both cheeks goodbye* Cashier: That`s really not necessary
you have lips ….. i have lips …… interesting
It`s a humbling moment when you realize your dog or cat has actually trained you to do something.
what happends when chemists pass away...We Barium.
This is how my week goes: Mooooooooooooonday Tuuuuuuuuuuuuesday Weeeeeeeeeeednesday Thuuuuuuuuuuursday FridaySaturdaySunday.
I thought my life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.
One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.
I was trying to think of something really deep to post on Facebook this morning. The Mariana Trench comes to mind.
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention Morons!