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I got on-line to check the weather...That was 12 years ago.
“They dared me to” is ALWAYS a valid excuse.
I never make stupid mistakes ... only very clever ones
Radio Shack has stayed in business with a name combining something no one buys anymore and a type of building no one wants to go into.
Why put off `til tomorrow what you can premeditate today.
Thou shall not promote Christmas until after Thanksgiving.
I can almost always tell when dinosaurs in movies aren’t real.
Shoutout to this ATM fee for making me buy my own money.
Over 500 channels and not a DAMN THING to watch! I suppose I should subscribe to some of them...
“Can we talk tomorrow?” is my way of saying “I’ll try to do a better job of avoiding you tomorrow?”
I just don`t understand why Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell car insurance.
After a night of heavily drinkin` there`s one thing I can`t stand...and that`s up.
Dimples are considered a facial muscledeformity in the medical world.
I`ll never understand women. They hate when you ask their age, but get mad if you forget their birthday.
When I "rage against the machine" the machine is usually a printer.