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I hope these bad jokes distract you from the fact you`re getting screwed. - Car insurance commercials
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
People always get so excited about the next generation iPhone but no one has caught up with the awesome technology that`s called a Turn Signal.
When you are on a first date and she says to you: “I want you to treat me like a movie star,” it is vitally important to establish which type of movie.
The hardest part of being a gentleman is going to all of these gentlemen’s clubs.
Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing.
I wish more of my handcuff stories involved sex instead of police officers.
You are so selfish! You´re going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night!
Are headaches the result of time spent with woman or is it purely a coincidence?
My husband woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on his face. I love Sharpie markers.
I really like my new electric toothbrush, even though sometimes, I still break out the acoustic.
You heard me right. I said:"Lets agree to disagree." It`s much more polite than:"Whatever, bitch."
The hardest job in the world must be working in a bubble wrap factory. Can you imagine the self control that is required?
Life is so hard when you have twenty TV shows to watch.
dude i wasent tht drunk you were huging a peice of chese saying ill never let u go sponge bob