Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs..... But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
Some day I wanna be "change my oil every 3000 miles" rich!
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", has obviously never been to a nude beach
When I`m on my deathbed, I`m definitely going to ask if I can be moved to a different bed.
Sometimes late at night.. I dig a hole in the back yard by lantern light.. Sure keeps my nosy neighbors on their toes.. :|
Vegetarian is an old Native American word for bad hunter.
If you canβt be a good example, then youβl just have to serve as a horrible warning
there is no strong beer, only weak men
1st woman on the Moon.. Houston we have a problem What? Never mind What`s the problem? Nothing Please tell us? You know what the problem is.
The closest I`ve come to camping was that one time when I fell asleep in the bushes outside your window with my camera.
Having a dirty mind makes simple conversation much more exciting!
Im thinking, The best part about sitting down at the computer for a minute and making a status message like this is that by the time you`ve finished reading it and taking a minute out of your day you`ll have a brand sense of enlightenment and awareness that you never had before once you realize that there is absolutely no point to this post whatsoever.
Right now a FedEx driver is dropkicking your Christmas gift onto someoneβs front porch.
Donβt judge me because I only have $4 in my pocket. Judge me because I stole it off my daughterβs night stand.