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Making a woman laugh is one of the keys to winning her heart, unless she’s laughing at your junk.
"You go girl" - asking my girlfriend to move out, but sassy like
My car broke down outside a massage parlor on today ... And again tomorrow.
If pigs could fly.. Would I be able to get high on bacon?
you have lips ….. i have lips …… interesting
The doctor said I need to drink more whiskey....Oh, by the way... I`m calling myself "the doctor" now.
1 in 3 Americans, weighs as much as the other 2.
I use a blender to make protein shakes in my office every day. That way when I use it to mix up a pitcher of margaritas no one even notices.
So bored at work I can`t even think of something to goggle
Working on my 32 point plan to be more spontaneous. Any suggestions?
It`s a small world, but I wouldn`t want to paint it.
As a future ghost, I`m kinda bummed out about the dress code.
"Stop, Drop, and Roll" is not JUST an effective fire safety technique, but also a very memorable way of getting out of a boring conversation. :P
Hey, chicks who have words tattooed on your tits... We didn`t come here to read.
When there is nothing to do ... That`s what I do