Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You`re as useless as a referee in the WWE
When I hear a person say "My Mom didn`t raise no dummy", I feel like saying "She lied to you"
I may or may not have just tried unlocking the wrong car for 15 minutes.
I was an adult once. Then I opened a Facebook account.
You`d think this moron wandering around the lot would give up after 10 minutes and push the alarm button to find their car ... But I won`t
Happiness, is just a liquor store away.
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I`m making important life decisions.
Why are people with BAD breath always wanting to tell me a secret?
Don`t ask me stupid questions and I won`t hurt your stupid feelings.
That moment when you think you know somebody then they pull out an entirely new bag of stupid.
Everyday I run into someone who pushes me past the limits of my medication.
I thought my life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.
What is it about a car that makes people think we can`t see them pick their nose?
If Wal-Mart ends up selling mortgages, the trailer market will explode.
"Is everything OK?" "Well, I`ve been kind of down since the divorce..." "I meant with your pasta, sir."