Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Olympic Mens Ice Hockey USA vs Canada. Loser keeps Justin Bieber.
I`m not sure if life is passing me by or trying to run me over.
Scratching off a lotto ticket before you leave the store is a good way of letting people know that your life isn`t going according to plan.
I wish I could google the things I’ve misplaced.
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks that I should leave work early.
Nobody’s phone is ever off. They’re lying.
Pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer pretend it`s a beer.....me trying not to drop a child
The secret of enjoying a good wine: 1) Open the bottle to allow it breathe. 2) If it does not look like it`s breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.
Apparently “cheesecake & tacos” wasn’t the answer the interviewer was looking for when he asked me what my weaknesses are.
Arguing with people in the comments section is like crack for me. I don`t do it.
Like if you really googled to see if that kid really died from masturbating
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, your way just happens to be in the dark.
I have found my sleep number and it is eleven, eleven beers.
R.I.P. 2013 (2013-2013)
I was trying to think of something really deep to post on Facebook this morning. The Mariana Trench comes to mind.