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Shout out to the new couples still holding in farts..
Porn is so unrealistic. There`s no way a guy with a ponytail could have a house that nice.
United should roll out Rodeo Rewards where you get paid based on how long you are able to stay on the plane when you are chosen to volunteer.
Back in my day, we had to remember phone numbers and give people directions and don`t get me started on the dinosaurs.
Sรถ รฎ hรจรฃrd รฟรดu lรฌkรช gรนรฟลก with รกcรงeรฑts?
How do they even grow boneless chicken`s?
My wife has spent all day arguing that she isn`t stubborn...
I hate it when people like their own statuses * At this point you like your status for dramatic effect*
Whoever said "nothing is impossible" never tried to nail JELL-O to a tree.
There`s 3 ways to get something done: 1. Do it yourself, 2. Hire someone or 3. Forbid your kids to do it.
I bet someone could get really rich opening a business that untangles Christmas lights!
I don`t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it
If at first you donโt succeed, look in the trash for the instructions
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears
Next on SportsCenter: Where is Tim Tebow watching the Super Bowl and how will that impact the game?