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When you write misspelled backwards it`s misspelled.
I would call my fashion style: “clothes that still fit.”
We are the only ones who can control our own happiness, but sometimes it feels like someone else is holding the remote.
spank me, its the only way i`ll learn.
make little things count. teach midgets math.
It`s so hot I have my air condition set on bankruptcy.
So if a dentist makes money off people with unhealthy teeth, why should we trust a toothbrush that 4 out of 5 dentists recommend?
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can’t figure out who’s going to do it.
Being an adult is a lot like going to the vet. We`re all excited for the ride until we realize what it`s like where we`re going.
My 6 year old found the duct tape and now nothing in my house moves.
What idiot called him Alexander Graham Bell instead of Lord of the Rings
I`m doing a charity gig tonight for people who struggle to achieve orgasm. Don`t worry if you can`t come
My ex said he would die for me. All I`m saying is, it was his suggestion.
You can tell how much a woman hates her husband by how short she cuts her hair.
I`m awesome ... Don`t question it, just deal with it.