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My wife said we should try some role reversal in bed last night. So I said I had a headache.
I just researched the medicinal name for Viagra..... MYCOXAPHAYLYN
The Shining is my favorite movie about what can happen when you spend too much time with family.
Finger Prints on Super Bowl Trophy to be used in dozens of criminal investigations
Yes we`re friends on facebook but that`s where it ends, stop trying to talk to me in real life... mom
Twerking is just shaking your a$$? Why did we need a new word? A$$-shaking has served us well for centuries.
The Brain ? Forgets what I want to remember, Remembers what I want to forget.
Texts from mom: Thanks to the supreme court, now it`s not just women who won`t marry you.
If I could have dinner with anyone, alive or dead, there is no question. I would want them to be alive.
I am not sure why a guy getting trapped in a vagina sculpture is big news...men have been trapped by vaginas for many years.
I hate when homesless people shake their cup of coins at me. It`s like yeah I know you have more money than me, no need to rub it in.
My wife is a sex object. Every time I want to have sex, she’ll object.
Madonna is 55 her boyfriend is 22. Tina Turner is 75 her boyfriend is 40. JLo is 42 her boyfriend is 26. Still single? Relax. Your boyfriend hasn`t been born yet.
My last thought in life will probably be ” I wonder what happens if I touch this?”
My husband`s wife is freakin` awesome!