Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Today I think I`ll go to a public restroom and wait until someone leaves, then click your stopwatch and write something down in a notebook.
Guinness for breakfast because its Ireland somewhere.
Don’t judge me…If you’re reading this then you aren’t working either.
Sorry I was staring at your nachos while you were talking about your painful divorce
Fun Fact: For the cost of a dozen red roses, you could also get a dozen beers and a dozen wings at happy hour. Prob even pay for parking too
Q.Teacher: why do we drink water? A. Learner : Because we cant eat it!
You know you`re broke when your bank flags deposits as suspicious activity.
Donald Trump`s hair saw its shadow. We have six more weeks of protesting.
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail
Life is all about tough decisions such as… Getting enough sleep or staying on the internet.
A 15 year old took gold in the Olympics and then there is me whose greatest accomplishment is getting up to 10 on flappy bird.
I’ve spent way too much of my life wondering why food doesn’t rhyme with good.
I`ve got a lot to unlearn.
When will they start calling marijuana dispenseries grass stations?
You know how we smack your household appliances when they`re malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.