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The meek shall inherit the earth. Probably because they`re the only ones who won`t complain about what we`ve done to it.
Based on the sound of her walking.. My upstairs neighbor seems like the kind of woman that starts sentences with; "Fee-Fi-Fo-Fum.".. O_o
Alway be nice to anyone that has full access to your toothbrush.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but my boss just gets mad when I don`t come to work
You know you’re awesome when you know you’re awesome.
Sorry I can’t make it to your party tonight. I have to get up really early tomorrow afternoon.
"I like your tree`s earring." ... "That`s a tire swing."
My girlfriend asked me to send some dirty pics. So I sent her a picture of my sink full of dishes. :)
Had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
I read an article the other day that said if you drink every day you are an alcoholic. Thank God I only drink every night.
Her dad said he`d like to see me make an honest woman out of her. I had to resist the urge to tell him that ship sailed long before me.
When children shy away, I say, "I don`t bite. Not hard anyway!" Then I laugh and bite them hard. They need to understand life`s not easy.
Never argue with someone who knows fancier words than you. Like `responsibility`
Having kids puts a new perspective on life.
I don´t suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.