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Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
Just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.
I really like compliments but I don`t want anyone talking to me...
I`m watching Godzilla tonight.... His parents asked me to babysit
As i get older i realize I do a LOT more YOGA...attempting to tie my shoelaces
A high-pressure hose will usually stop a coworker from showing you any more baby photos.
If you are going to write in the dust on my car, please dont date it
Not to brag, but my bathroom floor is so clean I can sleep on it. Apparently.
Can`t we all just hit a bong?
I just put Santa hats on all my Halloween decorations.
Please ignore this status, I am standing alone and I don`t want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am texting
Will someone please tell ugly girls with small boobs that their opioion doesnt really matter.
The awkward moment when you type HO instead of HI.
Things that don`t kill bees: 1. Furniture polish 2. Febreeze 3. Butter 4. Screaming