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Don`t be afraid to laugh at yourself you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
MTV canceled Teen Mom, so it`s like they had those babies for nothing.
Insomnia causes questionable browser history.
I just drink until the sadness becomes hilarious.
Dear Equifax hackers, Please delete my student loan balance, my medical bills and change my credit score to 850. Thanks.
No matter what happens this month, at least you’re not a turkey.
If you want to set up a company and run it then that`s your business.
Not sure yet why this cookie dough has baking instructions on the package.
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper place mats with puzzles...GAME ON!!
Is it just me that finds it disturbing that you can accidentally make a baby but you can`t accidentally make a pizza?
Can I tell you how terribly grateful I am that no one had cell phones, iPads or digital cameras when I had to squaredance in P.E.
When people say they work like a dog, I look at mine and think they must mean they just lay around all day and poop wherever they feel like.
Some people live life in the fast lane. You’re in oncoming traffic.
You know you`re a mom when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.
You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!