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Million dollar idea: Duck Dynasty chia pets.
I worry about what my rubber ducky thinks about me when I`m naked 0.0
Our #1 problem in this country is that nobody wants to take responsibility for anything ...but please don`t quote me!
How to know you have a sunburn: Smack the spot. If you scream in pain, its a sunburn
Do you suppose prison guards could use `PROACTIV` to prevent outbreaks?
It`s a little known made up fact of mine that 40% of the air inside a Taco Bell is just farts.
Why do the commercials with the husband and wife doing a home improvement project never show the fistfight?
Mashed potatoes really beg the question: “what else could we massively improve by squashing the hell out of it?”
Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...
Learn a lesson from your dog. No matter what life brings you, kick some grass over that crap and move on.
I don`t know why people say "your guess is as good as mine"? ..because my guesses are always better. ;)
My wife told me: "Sex is better on vacation." That wasn`t a very nice postcard to receive.
I plan my entire day around the possibility of a nap.
People are obsessed with this storm but in a couple months no one will talk about it anymore, which is why they named it after the movie Juno.
What do 95% of men do after an orgasm? Delete their browser history.