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I’m starting to think that the gym isn’t really for me. I went this morning and laid down on the mat to do some sit-ups. I woke up 2 hours later.
I`ve discovered I own five umbrellas, if anyone wants to stage a musical number.
Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask "which country?"
I`m 28 years old, but in marriage years, I`m dead on the inside.
I clean my house like everyone else ... 5 minutes before someone comes over.
I wonder how seaworld would react if I walked in there with a fishing pole....
I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
I wish I had a dollar for every dollar I don`t have.
What are nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What are nuts on the chest? Chestnuts. What are nuts against a chin? Blow job.
Was late to my first Fight Club last night so missed the intro rules. Still, Fight Club was brilliant and I`d highly recommend Fight Club.
Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever. I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the “Like” button.
Single ladies, stop saying you should just give up & get a cat , if no man wants you , don`t force an innocent cat to live with you..
Why do cops get mad when other cops have jurisdiction over a case? I`d be like cool I`m going home to eat.
I have tons of friends! Well i only have one... but she ways a ton!
From all these shows I`ve watched it seems like snipers lay down a lot of the day....I`d probably be pretty good at that job.