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Did you guys know grammar police rhymes with humorless a$$hole?
"Don`t try this at home" encourages people to try it at another`s home instead.
You know you`re getting older when you play GTA and spend 3 hours just walking around the map trying to find where you parked your car.
Now that Microsoft`s Steve Ballmer has bought the Clippers, I wonder if he will release a new version every few years that we all hate.
I knew the Psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check
Men are a lot like kids, if you want to shut them up, put a boob in their mouth.
"Being naked isn`t fun" - said no one ever.
when a girl says "whatever" what she really means "I hope you get shot, fall off a bridge, get raped by a shark, and then eaten by it
My pet unicorn told me that I was being delusional again. :/
I regret buying that straight jacket now. I thought it would look good on me but I just couldn`t pull it off...
For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.
It`s a lot easier to chuck a co-worker in the dumpster than it is to listen to his problems.
Who`s more foolish, a fool or the person who takes a fool`s advice?
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
If your dog is fat it means that you don`t get enough exercise.