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whats the difference between a dog and a fox????? six shots
I love running my fingers through my girlfriend`s hair. It`s also a great way to let her know we`re out of napkins.
I’d tell you what I’m doing but I’ve learned from other evil villains not to announce my plans first.
I heard lots of bongo noises coming from my loft last night. It sounded very Drum Attic.
One time I asked some girl what she was thinking. By the time she finished her thought we had 2 children.
Do you know how many poisonous apples I`d have to give out before I was considered to be the fairest in the land?
people say i talk in my sleeep , but no one at work seems to notice
I`m thankful for pizza and burgers... and ice cream and bacon and fries and... F*ck it, I`m thankful for food. I love you, food.
I said "sad face emoji" instead of actually frowning today if you want to know how out of touch with reality I am.
It deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Tihs wulod not be psibsole if yuor sutipd. I hpoe for yuor skae you wree albe to raed tihs or taht maens yuor an idoit or barin dmagaed.
Day 1-365: I am thankful for Veterans.
Do the other settings on the washer actually do anything?
They called themselves geologists because stoners was already taken.
mermaids swim by twerking do you ever just think about that
What do horses eat? Hay. What do gay horses eat? Haaaayyyy!