Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Million dollar idea: Duck Dynasty chia pets.
Quite honestly, Officer, I wouldn`t have even pulled over had I known all you were going to do was criticize my driving.
If its so great outside why do bugs try to get in my f*cking house?
If you put root beer in a square cup, do you get beer?……………………. (you smart people grinned didn’t you.)
To me, suicide seems selfish. For all I know, someone else might want to kill me
I lost a very close friend and drinking partner last week. He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.
Found out today you`re supposed to urinate on a jellyfish sting, not a jelly stain. Sorry lady at the waffle house... just trying to help.
Those teardrop tattoos mean you cried during the notebook, right?
Help me Obi Won Bacardi, I`m sobering up.
Pretending I`m a pleasent person all day is exhausting.
I`d like to change and get comfy, yet that requires effort. Ever feel this lazy?
I enjoy romantic scrolls up and down your timeline.
Government Shutdown: Day Three Jellystone Park still closed. Still no pic-a-nic baskets. Yogi stares at Boo-Boo... Boo-Boo looks tasty.
The Teen Choice Awards air last tonight if you want to see a great reminder of why kids aren`t allowed to vote.
Breaking News: Viagra shippment stolen... Cops are looking for a gang of hardened criminals.