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Hey movie villains - make a bomb where the wires are all one color.
If you`re reading this then I`m wishing you a Happy New Year! Stay safe, have fun, and remember, I like New Years gifts too!
Rawwrrr means I love you in dinosaur. Everyone knows that, silly
I`m not insulting you, I`m describing you.
What`s a burnt pizza, frozen beer, & a pregnant girl have in common? In each scenario, there`s a dumb guy who didn`t take it out in time.
It might look like I`m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I`m quite busy.
There`s really no telling how successful I could have been if the internet hadn`t been invented...
"There`s strength in numbers" I whisper to my 9th slice of pizza.
If women are so perfect at multitasking, how come they can`t have a headache and sex at the same time?
I keep my TV volume at "screw the neighbors".
Iām great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Asian gangs, also known as study groups...
I just threw up my weekend.
Miley Cyrus is not unique. I have been having full body spasms and licking random objects for decades.
Admit it, we all have that special someone we`d visit if given a tank to drive for a day