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I need me a pretty girl with an ugly girl personality
Big shoutout to whoever decided the ? and ! should be next to each other on an iPhone. That typo hasn’t made me look insane 10,000 times.
I`m so hungry I could Instagram a horse.
That Awkward Moment when you Greet you Brother on some random website. Brett to Daniel. sup Lerch!
liked homework better when it was called coloring.
The first sign of laziness:
Fact: Pornos aren`t based on actual events.
was going to argue with you...but then I remembered I really didn`t care
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An empty fridge is a sad fridge.
"That`s close enough..." ~Government worker
Before you refer to someone as your ex, make sure they know you dated.
Honking your horn is fun but rolling down your window and screaming “honk” at people is just way more satisfying.
I am woman, hear me say the opposite of what I mean in that tone that means you`d better do what I meant and not what I said.
Black holes must be where God divided by zero.