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I make one mistake and my pharmacist now adds "by mouth" on the prescription label.
The Internet: An electronic version of, "Now, why did I walk into this room?"
I bought a box of "SO CALLED" Hot Pockets --- brought them home, and opened one to eat it, and the Damned thing was FROZEN ----- Miis-Advertizing at it`s BEST!!! Now what do I do with the Damned thing???? :-P
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you’re a terrible person and had it coming.
I like to go on drunk facebook post binges, then claim the next day that someone hacked my account.
The grass is always greener over the septic tank
Apparently members of the Westboro Baptist Church were outside a theater when the marquee gave way and came crashing down injuring several of them amidst their protest. Witnesses overhead many of the members muttering to themselves, "It must be a sign."
I DON`T HATE YOU,I`M JUST NOT NECESSARILY EXCITED ABOUT YOUR EXISTENCE!
I don`t understand why people want a relationship when there`s pizza.
I bet the guy at the urinal next to me is now rethinking his decision to wear flip flops today.
I have no time or patience for games in my relationships. Unless by “games” you’re referring to naked Twister. I can make time for that.
You’d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
My car broke down outside Pizza Hut last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got a lift from the driver.
funny status idea: a funny and popular one