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Working from home means I save money on train tickets and pants, but spend more on vodka and pizza.
You know you`re old when all of the bands you listened to growing up have several greatest hits albums.
If the waitress in the One Bell Pub is reading this can we please have our pudding now, cheers
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
Coffee keeps me busy until it`s time to be drunk.
Don`t let the propeller hat fool you... I have no idea how to fly this plane.
Calm down shouty museum man. I think it`s pretty obvious that I know how to ride a dinosaur skeleton.
If wookies have a 400 year life span, then Han Solo is basically like Chewbacca`s third dog.
I`m surprised kids haven`t found a way to trick or treat online yet
Yes officer, I know my driving is not 100% perfect, but you have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk.
How does anything ever get done at the bubble wrap factory?
It`s always awkward ending phone calls with loved ones. I always say, "I love you" and they`re like, "thank you for choosing Domino`s."
Just found my TV remote and a newspaper in my fridge. It`s pretty awesome that society lets me live by myself.
I almost forgot to upload a pic of my Starbucks coffee. What a waste of coffee that would have been!
If by time, you mean vodka, then yes, time does heal all wounds.