Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t believe women belong in the kitchen... because men are better at that too
You know you are old when your parties have glasses instead of red plastic cups.
It’s not a great nap, unless you wake up and can’t remember what day it is.
With the problems I have, I would have taken my own life a long time ago but i have one question: Do they sell weed in hell?
If I’ve learned anything in my twenty-two years on this earth, it’s that it’s okay to lie about your age.
Does Facebook have a “You’re not smart enough to be talking about politics” button?
Never call a woman crazy because she will say, "I`m not crazy!" and then go and do something crazy. Probably with matches.
I don’t know what it is but, it’s on sale.
I`m afraid of a world run by adults who were never spanked as kids and got trophies just for participating.
I have always been suspicious of Wendy`s hamburgers because they are square; much unlike the round hamburgers one finds in nature.
Even if you don`t pay, they`ll usually let you go through a car wash at least once a day without a car.
How does anything ever get done at the bubble wrap factory?
Tried to make a stew and accidentally summoned a demon again.
I don’t need pepper spray to stop a mugger, I just open my wallet and blow the dust in their eyes.
Sorry I`m late, my alarm didn`t go off, because I didn`t set it ... because I don`t like coming here