Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"I have almost $67 in the bank!" sounded a lot more impressive when I was 12.
never be afraid to wipe twice
To all them girls who go out , looking sexy as hell but have boyfriends.......Please continue to do so when you`re married.
the jeremy kyle show, the only place you`ll see a six month old baby with more teeth than thier parents
Last night my wife said to me, “What would you do without me?” Apparently, “Your sister” was the wrong answer.
This idiot from Apple reckons that the "Temperature, iPhone needs to cool down" warning message has nothing to do with all my hot selfies
I`m at the age where an "all-nighter" just means I didn`t have to get up to pee.
A Relationship is like poker, if you don`t have a partner you better have a good hand.
I wasn`t going to get so many groceries, but there was a new girl working today and she took my check.
I`m starting to think that all those hours in school, when I practiced writing my autograph, was just a waste of time.....
There is only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water lying about being milk.
Research shows that when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" he infact did.
Life is short, Smile while you still have teeth.
Finding out your ex got fat is like finding 20 bucks in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face.
my girlfriend asked me to go to the store and pick her up 50 shades of grey, she was pretty mad when i brought home 50 tubes of lipstick.