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Look at the keyboard. It has `U` and `I` together. Look underneath that. It says `JK`.
If you`re one in a million, there are more than 7,000 of you.
Men, if a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.
Was shopping when a small child riding shotgun in a shopping cart yelling "why you ain`t got no babies?"I bet my father in law paid her
Pretty proud of myself, I got a lot of procrastinating done today
I need a Shazam app for people I`m supposed to recognize but can`t remember
I can cope with voices in my head but the voices outside my head drive me crazy
My girlfriend wants to get married. I hope she finds someone nice.
I hope I can still remember the dance to Thriller when I become a Zombie.
What idiot called it a contraction and not a birthquake?
My wife complains about everything I do. It`s like she doesn`t know there are "Sexy singles in my area" that want to meet with me.
Just got back from a job fair. Very disappointed. They didn`t have one damn ride.
Hmmmmm,,,, Turns out all this time, I’ve been using a life couch instead of a life coach.
Organized people are just to lazy to look for things.
I hate fake people...especially the ones at the mall advertising clothes in front of the stores