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Change is hard. Seriously have you ever tried to bite a nickel?
I have cat-like reflexes. If I hear a loud noise, I keep napping.
I’m always frank with my sexual partners. Don’t want them knowing my real name.
There should be an energy drink named 6 AM child
Oh cool! ... I really do not care.
Does anyone have plans to stare at their phones somewhere exciting this weekend?
Dora the explorer.... Y U NO GET GPS?
If you people knew how expensive, time consuming and hard this stalking stuff is you wouldn`t freak out every time you see me in your bushes.....geesh
The Internet: where no one is afraid to say the first thing that pops into their head.
I say if you can`t come up with anything nice to say then post it on Facebook.
Why are there no owls here? I Was lead to believe there would by owls here. #hooters
The only honest people in the world are small children and me after a couple cocktails.
I`m sorry I said your head looks too small to power your body.
Tonight I’m trying to get to that happy place right between don’t know my own name and head in the toilet.
Don`t understand how you can forget about someone you loved so much. Like that time my mum drove off and left me in the supermarket car park