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"I`m on my way." -People who haven`t even left the house yet.
Taking a nap is so risky. Like, when will I wake up? 30 minutes from now? 2 hours? 12 years? No one can be sure.
You know it`s good advice, when your still confused afterwards.
You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they`re trying on clothes in the fitting room.
Sometimes my attention span is shorter than a gold fish crackers are delicious.
I need a hug right now also five hundred thousand dollars in cash.
Heard you like bad boys .... Well, I`m not trying to impress you or anything, but when Disney Channel asked me to go to their website with my parents permission, I didn`t ask my parents.
I maybe wrong but I doubt it.
Whoever said, "All men are created equal", has obviously never been to a nude beach
Sometimes, I wonder if the weather app on my phone even looks outside.
If you ever get caught sleeping during work, just slowly raise your hand and say "In Jesus name I pray, Amen."
I just found out my smoke detector comes with a warranty. WHAT FOR? If it don`t work, what`s left?
Apparently saying, "You mad, bro?" is frowned upon if you work in customer service.
I’m going to rename my wifi network to “Surveillance Van #02?. That should keep the neighbors on their toes for a while.
What`s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don`t know and I don`t care.