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I can`t wait for the day when my kids are old enough that I can drink with them and not because of them.
My kids think I`m uncool like I thought my parents where. Time to get even! ;)
I don`t just sing in my shower, I perform.
What if every time a song pops into your head, it’s really just your brain intercepting one of the bajillion radio signals bouncing around you?
At this point in my life the only reason I want to be rich is to hire somebody to clean my house.
It`s amazing how we are very good lawyers for our own mistakes and very good Judges for other people`s mistakes.
I got a lot more sleep back when phones were only used for calling people.
When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.
Holidays are a lot of fun until you realize you`ve been dating the ugly sister
There’s nothing like having a long to-do list to make me feel like doing absolutely nothing.
Don`t you wish it was as easy to adjust the brightness level on people as it is on your phone?
Whenever I hear "let me tell you the truth", I secretly cross my fingers, hoping they say "brownies are healthy, eat as many as you want."
“Star Wars” fans are very upset that the story line of the upcoming new “Star Wars” movie has been leaked. Apparently the movie starts with R2-D2, Chewbacca, and Han
Stay Calm, take a breath, and reload.
Is it just me, or did anyone else wake up on the SEXY side of the bed this morning?