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Weird when someone vanishes from your Facebook feed for 3 years then suddenly reemerges with the results of a "Which Muppet Are You?" quiz.
It`s annoying how when you go to the orchestra, there`s always that one wasted dude up front swaying and waving his arms around the whole time
Like this if you can’t think of a clever status either.
I will straight up walk into traffic to avoid a kid selling something.
We have those sticky traps all around the house and I just found one moved clear across the room with all sorts of hair on it....so if anyone see`s a BALD mouse running around, it belongs to me
Have I posted my Alzheimers joke yet?
Things to do today.....pet all the spiders in my house at least twice with my shoe.
I try to live by two rules: 1. Don’t make fun of stupid people (they cant help it) 2. Don’t be stupid (people will make fun of you)
my friends status was "standing on the edge of a cliff" ... so I poked him
I am surprised Cheech and Chong have not filmed a new movie -"Cheech and Chong Smoke Colorado"
My life has a surprising lack of dance battles.
People who sit and talk while their pizza is gets cold gives me anxiety.
I hope my liquor store is having an after Christmas sale!!
I like people the most when I`m by myself.
Who wants to go Smart Car Tipping?