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Netflix is raising rates again? Man, whoever`s password I`m using has got to be pissed!
It`s really ironic that I mostly use my driver`s license to buy stuff that impairs my ability to drive.
If you watched a person cut a piece of wood, would that be sawed or seen?
Insomnia causes questionable browser history.
Do midgets still start their childhood stories off with, "When I was little"
Right before I die, I am going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels to make the cremation a bit more interesting.
TIP: If cars are passing you on the highway in the LEFT lane, GET THE HELL OUT OF THE RIGHT LANE!
At what point will this meal make me happy, Ronald?
The object of golf is to play the least amount of golf.
Just once I want someone to make a movie that’s sideways on the screen so I can watch it laying down without getting a kink in my neck.
I just want you to be happy…and maybe a little bit naked.
Lord please give me the strength not to go all Dexter on this mother f%#*er ... Amen
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever....
My last thought in life will probably be ” I wonder what happens if I touch this?”
New documentary movie about white trash .... I only saw the trailer ....