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cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades
How do I tell my boss I don`t want to do work anymore but still want money.
Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food colouring. The doctor says I`m alright, but I feel like, well, like I`ve dyed a little inside.
I wonder how long I’d be on hold if my call wasn’t important to them...
“100 Calorie Packs” roughly translated means “Eat Two or Three of These”
90% of the apps on my phone don’t do anything except send me notices that there’s a new version of itself.
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I`m slowly getting over it.
My favorite form of lying to myself is choosing a deodorant scent that contains the words `active` or `sport` in it`s name
When I see a cute couple making out I yell, ” I knew you’re seeing somebody else!” and run crying.
The key to eating healthy is to avoid any food that has a TV commercial.
People are like slinkeys; they don’t really serve a purpose, but you can’t help but laugh when one of them falls down the stairs.
There`s no WE in pizza.
What`s this g-mail? I just got used to e-mail. And why did they skip f-mail?
Being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible
Reincarnation is my only hope.