Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
So what was the best thing before sliced bread?
My earthquake kit is just a tuxedo because in case of a disaster, I want to look like the most important person to save.
How could a man who is covered in tattoos be afraid of commitment?
I just got kicked out of the Zoo! How was I supposed to know that real hippos don`t actually eat marbles?
All the coffee in Colombia couldn`t make me a morning person.
I think all priuses are gay transformers living here on earth
Can someone`s face be a pet peeve?
My pants are 75% off.
am updating my status just to let you know my status has no status
Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
I used to play sports. Then realized you can buy trophies. Now I´m good at everything.
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
I don`t want to brag or make anybody jealous, but I can still fit into the earrings I wore in high school.
If Reincarnation ends up being real... Those People who got "YOLO" tattoos are going to look... Pretty Silly
Sometimes I have to go outside to get signal on my phone for Facebook so yes, you could describe me as "outdoorsy."