Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Today: I`m going to be understanding, productive, and nice. WHAT? Stop laughing! I`m serious!
That moment when you realize your children have your twisted sense of humor...And you don`t know whether to be proud or scared.
Just because it`s a bad idea, doesn`t mean it`s not going to be a good time.
Plot twist: name your pets after passwords.
I told my girlfriend I`m Harry Potter`s Godfather... She laughed hard and said "you can`t be Sirius"
I know the voices ain`t really, but man, do they ever come up with some great ideas.
Gotta thin the herd. – me eating animal crackers
Haircuts are great because I did none of the work but get all of the credit.
People who think only God can judge them have obviously never met my mother-in-law.
Sorry I ordered a salad and then ate all your fries.
Insanity does not run in my family. It strolls through, taking it`s time and getting to know each one of us personally.
I never used to mind my wife hitting me in the face as she climaxed until I found out she was faking it.
I don`t blame Congress. If I had $600 billion, I`d be irresponsible too.
hell yeah !!!! i was the lucky sperm !!!!!
Hell is having a married couple tell you a story at the same time.