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Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
Live in the moment. Unless the moment sucks. Then live on Facebook.
I pretend I’m taking an important call and use big words when old people walk by so they’ll think the future is in good hands.
Grabbing a drink after work is perfectly fine.However, you look like an alcoholic when your getting that drink at 6am.
I slept like a rock last night, meaning I woke up in the flower bed with the house key under my belly.
I`m working out my budget and, provided I don`t live past Tuesday, I can retire relatively comfortably!!!
I’m surprised more people don’t Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures.
Id explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons with me.
I’m pretty sure I could start a new life with only the crap in my car.
I think I really have an amazing butt, every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say,"what an a$$.."
Hey Pringles, it`s time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn`t exactly thin-wristed.
Do you ever look through old pictures and wonder, “Where the hell did that shirt go?”
If I say "I don`t know, let me look", I`m really just spinning around in my chair a few times while you`re on hold.
"I’m definitely going to do that tomorrow.” — Me being delusional