Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Mazda’s marketing slogan is “We Build Mazdas.” They decided on it after rejecting others like: “Mazdas Are Cars” and “Buy Mazdas With Money”
Whenever I see people doing sign language, I assume they are discussing the best way to murder the rest of us and steal our ears.
If you love something set it on fire, if it... no wait, is that right? sh!t! Be right back...
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of the plane...
I consider anything that doesn`t fit in the dishwasher to be for one time use.
Today please just pretend I wrote something hilarious, click like, and move on down the news feed.
was on the treadmill for over an hour and I must say it is much easier with roller blades
Me: *kisses her on both cheeks goodbye* Cashier: That`s really not necessary
Afraid of not getting what you ordered when online shopping…..Ha, try online dating
Started working on my taxes today and learned why the form is called 1040. For every $50 I make, I get $10 and the gov`t gets $40...
"Hi, I`m here to ruin your life" - Social media
I like calling the Psychic Hotline and asking them what I`m wearing.
When everything is coming your way, you`re probable in the wrong lane.
If you don’t like my sense of humor please tell me… so I can laugh at you!
The last breasts I touched belonged to a dead chicken.