Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Two knives taped together are not a suitable alternative to scissors.
What I learned from Titanic was that you need to have sex as soon as possilble with the person you like cause you never know what might happen.
If I ignored you any harder, we`d be married.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don`t know what he laced them with, but I`ve been tripping all day.
Ever seen a person so disgusting you hold your breath when you walk by them? Yea I have.
Some of these Giraffe profile pictures are a vast improvement.
Apparently typos only become visible to the human eye after you hit send.
I found my first grey pubic hair today. Normally things like this don`t bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
Don`t mistake my middle finger as an offer.
If ANY of my posts have made even one person’s day better, then there’s something seriously wrong with that person
Teacher: Have a seat! Student: Thanks! *picks up the chair and leaves* -- (°_°)
For some reason, I`m an extremely secretive person. Don`t ask me why!
Rump roast is called rump roast because nobody would eat it if it was called cow`s ass
What is this World Cup and can I drink from it?
new years resolution #1: stop losing the powerball