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Here`s an idea...You go away and I`ll stop ignoring you.
I made a chicken salad today... The little bastard didn`t even eat it.
I socially identify as the guy who tried to jump off of the sinking Titanic but ending up hitting a massive propeller on the way down.
Sunglasses allow you to stare at people without getting caught. It`s like facebook in real life.
Drunk people are the only honest ones left.
Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.
Iām not high maintenance, but rather precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep.
if truth is what u want...in return alcohol is all I want...
I`m the opposite of psychic. I don`t even know what I`m thinking! ;)
Good for you, people that do things.
Do me a favor if someone tells you they don`t like me , tell them I don`t like them either.
Sometimes I buy huge pants and take a picture of myself holding them up just to feel like I lost a ton of weight.
All I need to know about you is defined by whether you ask for a cup or a cone when ordering ice cream.
I know I am an acquired taste. If you don`t like me, you need to acquire some taste. Or go f*ck yourself. Whichever.
Now that cell phones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again...