Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Look, all I`m saying is, you never see Nikki Manaj and E.T. in the same place at the same time.
I`m just here until I can make day drinking a full time job
Sorry, kids. It appears ninjas ate all of our Halloween candy.
What if every time a song pops into your head, it’s really just your brain intercepting one of the bajillion radio signals bouncing around you?
Does all this status updating make my ego look fat?
Whenever I move into a new neighborhood, the first thing I familiarize myself with is the liquor store coz you know priorities.
Today I met one of those people on the bus that gets all pissed off when you put your finger in their mouth when they yawn.
The existence of the `snooze` button tells you everything you ever need to know about the human race.
My winter wardrobe consists of my summer clothes layered on top of one and other.
I hate it when people dont know the differece between Ur and U`r
Well I just finished up some spring cleaning. Holy crap, owning a Slinky can be such a hassle.
To be honest, I´m just fishing for compliments tonight.
Jail is just the government`s way of sending you to your room.
If you can`t say something nice about someone, you probably know the same people I do.
Stop undressing me with your eyes!...Use your teeth!