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Our #1 problem in this country is that nobody wants to take responsibility for anything ...but please don`t quote me!
I`m sticking to my guns ... I really should have washed my hands after I ate.
I tried stuff once. It was horrible.
Hey, if it doesn`t work out, we can still be friends. Said no guy ever
This haunted house sucks. It`s just people sitting in cubicles under fluorescent lights looking sad. Wait, I`m at work, sorry.
Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
There is no evidence that exists that life should be taken seriously.
“Don’t make me regret this.” -things I think when accepting a friend request.
You know you`re desperate for an answer when you look on the second page of Google.
omg I just found out I`m allergic to exercise...at first I get all flushed, then I break out in a sweat, my heart starts pounding really fast, then I cant breath........i wont be doing that again!
I just broke a light bulb. Damn, is that 7 years of bad ideas.
Does shaking the vending machine count as working ...
Are you reading this from a toilet? I`m writing this from one.
I like to reward myself for getting up on time by laying in bed for another 20 minutes.
I worry about people who write "taken" in their bios. Where did they go? Who took them and why aren`t we helping to find them?