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Fun things to do in Walmart: Take the ``try me`` stickers off of the toys & place them on condom boxes.
I BRIEFLY had an urge to clean ... but that lasted only 5 minutes .. whew! That was close! Lol
How does one get a nice body without moving?
Happy New Years Everyone! (I stole this status:) )
I`ll be a morning person when it`s Christmas.
Facebook: an alternative to drunk dialing.
Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?
So how old does a highway have to be before you tell him he`s adopted?
50 notifications later I regret ever commenting on your status.
Went for a mile run today. Stupid Ice Cream Man just kept driving even though I was waving my money in the air!
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
If you ever feel unattractive, just remember that you look like your ancestors, and Hey, All of them got laid.
I`m CDO. It`s like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order. LIKE THEY SHOULD BE!!!
My coffee was so hot this morning it came along with an ugly friend.
I`m a little Stressed right now ... Just turn around and leave quietly and no one gets hurt.