Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My internet was down for almost 4 mins, I’m ok but the 911 operator was a total b!tch about it!
I just found out people are playing golf online. And I thought my life sucked!
I`m not bothered if someone likes me or Not. Even Angels are hated by Demons.
This salad is delicious, probably because it`s a donut.
When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for 2?" I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see him too?"
When I`m bored, I send a random text to a random number saying "I hid the body... now what?"
3 words, 8 letters, easy to say, hard to prove... ..."I`m a zebra."
Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money`s worth...Just saying.
I don’t understand decaf coffee. It’s like sex without the sex.
I`m done with tucking in shirts. Too many people complaining I`m invading their "personal space." LOL
I believe that every person has a story to tell...which is why I stay at home.
I went for window shopping , and guest what , I bought four windows....
I hate to rub it in, but lotion doesn`t really work otherwise.
I don`t even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullsh!t.
Nothing says you mean business more than putting on a bib before you eat a girl out