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How do blind people know when to stop wiping their asses
My wife just made a "special" dinner "just for me" for no apparent reason. I`m going to die, right ?
If I share my food with you, its either because I love you a lot, or because it fell on the floor and I don`t want it.
I was sad, because I had no shoes. Until I met a man that had no feet. So, I took his shoes, cuz hey, he wan`t using them anyway!
I’m pretty busy today, so if you could just go ahead and offend yourself for me that would be great. Thanks!
If you like to make love while listeninag to music, always choose live album. ..That way you`ll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes. :)
u smile i smile u laugh i laugh u cry i`ll go get a bat and say who`s gonna get it
Please drink responsibly this weekend and don`t drink and dri......Wait this is Facebook, most of you probably won`t leave the house! ... Good talk!
I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision.
no one is perfect thats why pencil have eraser
I would just like to personal thank all the people in my life that have caused me so many problems, for making me the as$ I am today!
It’s only Wednesday and I’m 95% done with this week.
I`d like to thank my exs for encouraging me to learn about cars. Like how to cut the break lines, hoses, or discreetly slash a tire.
I’m glad you spent $80 on makeup to look like a $5 whore. Well done
Scientists have yet to explain how 300 people can be working at a Wal-Mart but only 4 registers will be open.