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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I don’t want to sound racist, but all stormtroopers look the same to me.
Never confuse the words "venom" and "poison". Venom is injected into blood by an animal. Poison is injected into food by a woman.
I would like to give thanks to the brave men and women who died a long time ago tasting which plants were edible and which plants were not.
I`m so broke that I can`t even pay attention!
Do these `Skinny Jeans` make my blood circulation look more than purple or less than purple?
Just in case you are wondering ... I did not go to Jared.
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
You will always be my best friend ... You know too much.
Your giving me the silent treatment??? FKN FINALLY!!
I still remember when everyone wanted their phone to be smaller. Now that we can watch porn on them, everyone wants them bigger.
This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: β€œWhy are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken.”
I really like ceilings,.. I guess you could call me a ceiling fan.
I`m not anti-social I`m just pro leave me the f*ck alone.
Spiderman is just another guy who ends up with sticky hands and covered in white stuff after being on the web.
This coworker is about to find out walking around smiling on a Monday always leads to workplace accidents.