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I do whatever the little voices tell me to do.
The only dates I get are updates.
Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside.
Well, if anything, the Mayans did teach us one valuable lesson. If you don`t finish something...it`s really not the end of the world.
Today I learned not all people are appreciative of vetriloquism. Especially my gynecologist.
My pessimism has never failed me, but I`m sure someday it will.
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend.......who`s in with me?
I am really thankful that I have a desk job. I could never get all my personal stuff done at home.
Why do people ask "What the hell were you thinking?" Obviously I was thinking I was going to get away with it and not have to explain it.
Just once I`d like to see a stripper do the "Carlton" on stage.
Line forms here for spankings
Kinda funny how the Mayans said we were all gonna die in 2012, but they all disappeared way before us.
Having plans sounds great until you realize you have to put on clothes and actually leave the house.
Bad decisions make good stories.