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Finally 21 and now legally able to do things which i have been doing since 15….
Dropped my cheeseburger in the dirt before I ate it. That`s about as organic you`re gonna get out of me.
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself" -- 5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
I assume people with dark tinted windows pick their nose more aggressively than the rest of us.
Think you`re going crazy? When you get there, look for me and I`ll show you around.
I could be a morning person if morning happened after 11.
Waking up an hour early gives you an extra hour to wish you were still in bed.
You call them French Fries…I call them Edible Ketchup Shovels.
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, muffins are healthy :) your welcome.
You`d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
I`m starting to think that Dr. Dre isn`t a real doctor after all...
Life Lesson: Never ever, ever do anything you wouldn`t want to explain to a nurse in a busy ER.
I only get religious when scratching off lottery tickets.
I’m dedicating this status update to all the status-less people out there. Stay strong.
I drank so much vodka last night I woke up with a Russian accent.