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Why can`t braille just be in the shape of the letters?
Drunk is when you feel sophisticated but can’t pronounce it.
You can really scare someone when you yell "Peek-a-boo!". Especially when they`re trying on clothes in the fitting room.
Buying new Nikes, call that soul searching
A 6-month wait when filing for divorce, but only a 15-day wait when buying a gun. I think the solution for relationship problems is clear.
People should be loved. Things should be used. Unfortunately, we have it backwards
Best Relationship Advice: Make sure you’re the crazy one.
From now on, all of my posts will be written in Morgan Freeman`s voice. Please re-read this one to make sure it`s working.
Look, all I`m saying is that the dinosaurs didn`t drink alcohol and look what happened to them.
"The secret is that it`s all in the wrist!" -My grandfather talking about golf or handjobs or something
H.A.T.E.R.S. : Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success?
You use Google every day but I bet you can’t remember the order of the colors.
Your so old, you knew Burger King when he was a prince.
"You should`ve come with us!" well, inviting me would`ve helped..
Sometimes I think "Screw this ... I`ll just be a stripper!"