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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
I want rich people problems. Like where to park my yacht.
Wednesday, you’d be a lot cooler if you were Friday night.
I knew the Psychic was no good the moment she accepted my check
The best thing about humans is that many of the richest and most prosperous among us collect bottles of rotten grape juice.
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, “Who ate my kale?”
Resisting the urge to write "Just shut the f*ck up" on someones status.
If there is not an open bar and a delicious cake at your wedding, I will take my gift card to Walmart back.
If you could see what goes on inside my head, you would have nightmares for weeks!
Friends don’t let friends twerk.
If you pour two beers into one glass, it becomes just one beer.
It`s funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my
Currently training for when they inevitably make drinking an Olympic sport.
Our kids biggest challenge will be to find a username that`s not already taken.
"Is everything OK?" "Well, I`ve been kind of down since the divorce..." "I meant with your pasta, sir."