Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If you see me smiling it`s because I`m thinking of doing something evil or naughty ... If you see me laughing it`s because I`ve already done it
I always laugh at myself. If I didn´t, everyone else would be having fun without me.
Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I`m reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild
Does eating a gas station hot dog counts as a suicide attempt.
I have no problem texting while driving, but I won’t text while going down stairs. That sh!t’s dangerous.
I didn’t scream out someone else’s name during sex. I was thinking of baby names in case you get pregnant…
there is no strong beer, only weak men
I feel like doing something productive today. If I sit here long enough, maybe it will go away.
Am I the only one who closes the silverware drawer with an epic pelvic thrust?
The only thing my girlfriend blows is everything out of proportion.
Girl are you a University of Phoenix degree because I`m pursuing you online and from my couch
People hate facing the truth. Luckily the truth doesn`t give a sh*t.
I don`t even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullsh!t.
Great friends never let you do stupid things......alone
My credit card company says I have an outstanding balance. I was flattered.