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I have a new rule: No one is allowed to talk to me for a minimum of 24 hours after I wake up.
Don`t talk to me about disappointment. I had lots of adults tell me they were gonna "fix my little red wagon" yet here it sits with a broken wheel still
in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside.
I`m easily influenced... That`s why I try not to watch too much porn
I`ve got my wise-ass in my smartypants so I`m ready for anything!
Life Tip: Get a birthday card with anything you are embarrassed to buy.
The guy that figured out babies instinctively hold their breath under water probably had a lot of explaining to do.
Women are so silly sometimes, thinking men actually care if they fake it.
According to new research, too much sex can cause memory loss. Finally, something that explains my ultra detailed photographic memory.
Why do fifty percent of marriages end in divorce? Well, I`m guessing it`s because the other fifty percent can`t afford lawyers.
Sometimes I wonder if the kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught a fish yet.
When ever I think about the past...It brings back so many memories
Of all the advice given to me over the years, “There really is no bad time for a beer” has proved to be the most helpful.