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I would watch NASCAR if hot wheels designed the tracks.
We should do this “3-day weekend” thing more often.
If cartoons are a reliable guide, the secret to never aging is wearing the same clothes every day.
Ah man... i don`t have any notifications... better go check another computer
It`s finally here! .. That time of year when my seasonal depression turns into just regular depression.
“Let’s hang out sometime.” - liars
I’m starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.
OK I`ve stumbled out of bed and made it to the computer- and another Facebook day begins!
This hangover feels like... I should take a shot.
If spiders ever come to the realization that people are terrified of them, we`re f*cked.
A friend came over visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much quit counting them.
Just made eye contact with a guy while licking my lips ... I think I need to kill him now.
I would be a terrible stalker because A) I`m not motivated enough B) You would always hear the rattle of peanut m&ms behind you.
Okay, enough procrastination. Time for excuses.
People who sit and talk while their pizza is gets cold gives me anxiety.