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I`ll never understand those people who say, "I mainly use facebook for my family." And I`m thinking to myself..."Umm...isn`t that what real life is for?"
The downside to posting jokes all the time is that if I posted "Help, I am in an Iranian prison" everyone would be like "haha good one"
The responsibility of taking out the trash should be left to the person who runs out of ways to fit more trash in the bag.
I love Alfredo sauce ... Unless you`re a dude named Alfredo.
Guys if you ever want to imagine what a woman’s mind feels like imagine a browser with 2,859 tabs open. All. The. F*cking. Time.
I`m going to propose with a mood ring so I can easily see a measurement of how excited she really is.
It`s so nice to come home and relax with Facebook after a long day at the office being on Facebook.
There was a glorious time, before social media, when you would just lose touch with people.
So, at this point, should we really still be calling them New Kids on the Block?
Say what you want about the porn industry. But they are hard workers.
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not a flow chart?
I suggest we drink before we go out drinking.
I was the only one that cared when Jimmy cracked corn.
Every time I make plans to eat better I can hear my stomach laughing
The iPad: Because the iPhone was too small for other people to notice you.