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A lot of people don`t realise that Shania Twain`s father, Mark, was actually a pretty good writer.
For once I’d like to get kicked into a bar
I`m going to be very disappointed if I go to England and nobody skips to the loo.
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don`t know what he laced them with, but I`ve been tripping all day.
That weird moment when u just say "what`s up " to someone and they thing you`re a shrink.
I was addicted to the Hokey Pokey but I turned myself around.
The rare times my cat approaches me for affection, I run away and hide under the bed so she knows what that feels like.
Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they`re singing about the same girl & get mad at each other.
Instead of “single” as a relationship option, it should read “independently owned and operated”
bitches want what they cant have..or thats what I keep telling myself
You`d think my password was "yourmom" because the computer said it was too easy.
No one thinks the screenshot of your text messages are as funny as you do. No one.
Sometimes, when I "like" your post, it`s because my touchscreen is too sensitive and I only meant to scroll by your ass. Sometimes. ;)
How Big is Infinity?
Not a day goes by when I don`t try to use The Force.