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Saw a billboard ad for potato chips that proudly claimed "There`s a lot of pride in every bag!" Hmmm...is "pride" another word for "air"?
If you play any Taylor Swift song backwards you`ll hear messages from the devil, however even worse........... if you play it forwards, you`ll hear Taylor Swift
Iām pretty busy today, so if you could just go ahead and offend yourself for me that would be great. Thanks!
If I randomly burst out in laughter, it`s usually `cause I just told myself a joke I`d never heard before :)
When I`m not sleepy, I listen to some Chris Brown. That knocks me out right away.
Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...
Accidentally walking through the camping aisle at Target every once in a while is about as outdoorsy as I get.
since when was it cool to have an iPhone at the age of 10.. i sincerely hope those parents know what they`ve done.
Wow, I didn`t know my ex was into orgies until I saw the ad on Craig`s list I just posted.
Condoms prevent minivans.
awkward moment when the dentist is talking to you with his hands on your mouth
This drag race is not at all what I expected. Are they in dresses inside of the cars, at least?
I`d be much more attracted to you if you were much more attractive.
Never argue with someone who knows fancier words than you. Like `responsibility`
I keep seeing all these commercial on TV about working out and getting "ripped" in 90 days.. Give me a bottle of Jack Daniels and I`ll get ripped in 15 minutes