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Just for fun, next time you see a snooty, rich woman at the grocery store, ask her if she works there.
As my mother-in-law and I fight to the death for her son`s love, I sometimes think to myself, "This may be the worst prize ever."
Life`s tough. It`s tougher if you`re stupid...
My favorite part of country music is the part where I change the station.
I know she`s talking about rain but I don`t like hearing my mom say she got 6 inches
$100 for a dozen red what?! That`s a lot of money for a plant you canβt smoke.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I`m going to bed
Not to interrupt your story, but do you have a completely different and possibly shorter story?
Just printed out 50 copies of today`s weather forecast to carry around with me today because I`m just not in the mood for small talk.
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza.
The best thing about living in the southern U.S. is that "He needed killing" is a valid legal defense.
I just went dumpster diving.. and hit the mother load. Tons of dude gear and tools! It smelled of angry white woman.
Are oranges named orange because theyβre orange or is orange called orange because oranges are orange?
I look forward to paying off all my debt so I can get back to just being broke
My butt decided to go big instead of go home.