Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
is tring to fool people into thinking I have a social life by going offline from Facebook for a few hours.
Hey pigs, stop trying to swallow entire apples. You keep dying!
My smoke detectors are always cheering me on for being such a great cook.
"You go girl" - asking my girlfriend to move out, but sassy like
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
I do take my job seriously; To make sure there are no day old donuts at the local coffees shop.
You have to hand it to Subway for convincing us it`s acceptable to eat an entire loaf of bread for lunch.
I really need to clean the house, but I`m thinking it`d be a lot faster to burn it down and start from scratch...
I made a salad with red wine vinaigrette only I left out the vinegar and the oil and ok it`s just lettuce with wine all over it. Anyhoo, I`m drunk.
I hate when I forget my sunglasses and get caught staring at a woman`s boobs for 20 minutes.
Quick Hide! Monday is Coming!!
The one thing you never wanna hear when your father catches you watching porn is... "Scoot over."
Hash browns not tags.
You know what they say about men with big feet ;)..........We always have trouble finding shoes that fit.
I want to tell my coworker I have strong feelings for her, but I`m afraid things might get weird if she knows I hate her.