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Life would be a lot easier if employers accepted excuses like “I’m sorry I can’t come into work today, I’m sleepy”
I watched Americas Got Talent for 15 minutes and I beg to differ.
Earlier this morning, I was invited to join a XXX facebook group. I was somewhat intrigued until I realized it was a group for guys who like to wear really big shirts.
It would take a pretty stupid robot to replace me.
Summer is almost over...All you half-naked people are gonna need to find a personality.
New Years - the only day where its socially acceptable to drink this early.
Time to train for my favorite winter sport. Extreme Hibernation.
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
Some of us learn from the mistakes of others. The rest of us have to be the others.
I was standing in front of the mirror earlier, admiring my six pack for hours. But it got really warm so I put it back in the fridge.
They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".
I`m right 98% of the time. Who cares about the other 3%?
My anger management class pisses me off
People hiking with a giant stick never seem any better at hiking than the rest of us.
be smart, pretend to be stupid!