Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To those girls who always put"CRYING" at the end of every status, seriously what do you expect us to do, inbox you a tissue?
The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
Advantage #46 of being single. I have entire closets that are completely empty.
All I ask is to one day live in a house with secret passages.
I love it when I Google something I should know the answer to and find out 308 people are just as dumb as I am.
If you stop at a yellow light I`m going to assume you have something illegal in your car.
Just in case you are wondering ... I did not go to Jared.
The package says "Do not eat raw cookie dough" but all I really see is "Pillsbury hates you and doesn`t want you to be happy."
My boyfriend is being so nice to me since I showed him how easy it was to remove blood from carpeting...
Sometimes I think my job is actually a hidden-camera game show where they see how much absurd bullshit I’ll put up with before I catch on.
Whoever said "sticks and stones may break your bones but words will never hurt you" has obviously never been hit with a dictionary.
Never trust a married guys opinion of who’s hot. It’s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
If the shoe fits, shove it further up their a$$
Everyone is beautiful in their own way, your way just happens to be in the dark.
That urge you get to write "No one gives a sh!t" on someone`s status..